There is just 1 building block to create a resilient mind

Rajib Roy
3 min readSep 10, 2023


Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

Know your enemy

Have you dated a person who is whimsical, ambiguous, crooked, addictive, hot, cute, and sensationally gorgeous?

So deadly combination right? Yes, for me it was a paradoxical experience.

In order to deal with such a lady, you must be strong enough to say no to her captivating voice, her demands, and her wishes. I was not like that but I was decisive about what morality means to me.

There were unknown ways by which she used to devour my money. I don’t want to sound funny by the term “unknown ways” though. She evaporated like a ghost from my life when she found out I don’t drink.

The moral of the story is that you get in trouble when you hang out with such a person as she harbors viciously immoral virtues and intentions. Your brain becomes overwhelmed since the girl gives you a lot of emotions. You experience a merry-go-round because that person can give you a dose of extreme positives and extreme negatives. Your ego might get boosted for some days as you have a hot girlfriend.

Basically, she can drain your brain, your focus, and your concentration. Most importantly, focus and concentration were important things for me that I could not compromise even though I was naive back then.

I have learned that having minimum distractions in terms of dating is essential for your personal growth.

By a simple quick story, I wanted to say that your life goals and your work might get compromised when you are involved with such a person. The amount of energy that you use while thinking about a toxic person is huge as compared to reading three chapters of a book. Immature people in relationships are not capable of dealing with this type of girl.

On the other hand, when you give your 70 % of time to your work, that will give you a lot of things. Philosophically speaking, it will give you character, personal powers, and above all, peace of mind. Peace of mind is something that is extremely necessary for success in anything. You have to be present with whatever you are doing. When you are present, your whole energy is devoted to one task. The focus level you have during such times is maximum. You can certainly imagine the outcome that will come out of that work.

Photo by Fabio Jock on Unsplash

On the contrary, if your mind is engaged in a lot of uncertainties revolving around one girl, you’re gone. I do not mean that every girl creates problems for you. There are special species among them that are harmful only.

So I mean to say that involvement with a wrong and toxic person affects your brain. The thoughts revolving around that person do not let you think about your life and about yourself. You become detached from reality as you view and conceptualize everything in your life on the basis of your relationship status. This thing is really dumb unless you performed really badly in bed.

You know deep inside that your relationship status with the bad person never becomes compounded on anything.

Finding your true self is absolutely necessary because not every time it comes from work. Things you do to pass your time might also lead you closer to your true self. Things you do to pass your time might mean your hobbies. It might not always generate monetary profit for you but it flourishes your spiritual wealth. You need to learn how to be happy regardless of what happens in your life externally. In the goal-oriented world, try to learn how to live a good life.

Because productivity does not always mean work. In the next part of The Resilient Mind, I will talk about the association between this topic with self-esteem and self-confidence.



Rajib Roy

I am a writer who likes to write about personal experiences, Business, Psychology and Fashion.