I have realized my truth

Rajib Roy
6 min readJul 17, 2022

I have started to think about whether I am completely an introvert or not. At times anxiety just peeps in my ears and robs my peace. Those instances are undoubtedly real. But I have also noticed a tendency in me, a tendency of becoming sad. As if there is a dark enchantment that the notion of sadness has. Every time it lures me. But I have seen that the feeling comes from certain activities. Suppose, I play cricket a lot and I really love it. Hence, the activity of playing cricket gives me a certain characteristic, certain feelings.

If I think myself as an athlete in my mind, I will not be an athlete. The thought must reach to the physical reality or embodied action.

I have read this quote of Carl Jung where it is stated that you are what you do not what you say you'll do or something like that. So this idea is somewhat similar to mine.

Lets go back to the sadness reasons, so I have become sad to such an extent that it was not necessary and normal. I tried hard to cry but tears ceased to come. Haha!

So I can say that “I think of myself as an introvert, sad and moral” in my mind only. I can be an extrovert too.

Introverted rational people have a proclivity to be egotistical because they like to think that their way is the absolute way. They disregard others’ views and think of them as right all the freaking time. There is a kind of obsession, enchantment, or captivation that the spirit of introversion holds. I think it’s a drive or a force. It is a rigidity towards one thing I suppose. I had it too and I have placed some thoughts in my mind. I have started to look at my friends with judgement. Of course I have certain ideals which made me do that. But I used to think that spending time with them would make me alcoholic or a smoker which is not wholly correct. When I see my two friends as street smarts, I used to hate them for that. Hence, it means that I saw my shadow on them. There is a part in me that wants to be or is a street smart person.

This unidimensionality of it ceases the other sides of life. I have seen that I jabber a lot of things in my head. I think of myself as this and that. It used to be the case before I got my job. I had a lot of free time to do that. This inner self-talking sometimes becomes too heavy for me to handle. I feel uncomfortable as well.

Extroverted behaviors on the other hand tend to produce signs of health and well-being in people more than introverted behaviors. Rob Henderson, a doctoral candidate at the University of Cambridge, stated that you will be happier when you become an extrovert. I have taken this point because communication which is a sign of extraversion produces a sense of wholeness. It is as if nothing is suppressed in the chest, everything is expressed.

Carl Jung also shared his thought that people do not like introverts because it is not exactly how we are connected as a society. Moreover, people unconsciously and consciously send sanity signals like eye contact and smile. Of course, you can diverge from the normal ordinary people if you are creative but do not stress that too much. On the contrary, it does not imply that extroverts are the ideal. According to Jung, two sides of the personalities need to maintain a balance which is the key to a fulfilling life.

Face reality, Be grounded, and Be with your family more. Be radically honest with yourself

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In some of Dr. Peterson’s lectures, I have heard him saying about one of Jung’s quotes that the thing that you most need will be found where you least want to look.

In psychology, resistance increases problems. The common way we all resist is by denying the problem. Choosing to embrace the problem requires honesty. So You have to_

Know Who you are

I have sidestepped my passion for painting a lot. I am sure that I have taken that talent for granted. I have done other things. But if I go back to my memory lane, I can certainly find that “challenge” gave me a spur and motivation. Doing easy things has never been my cup of tea. But when I did other things I think it was because of peer pressure and because of social impulses. My friends have told me that I should date a girl. I have seen that the more I chase the feeling of that sort of need, I worry too much. Most of the time, I acted out lies. I felt that when I approach dating situations I lose my integrity. Rather in my office, I had a great relationship for eight months with my office colleague and I tried very little. She liked me a lot. Everything came naturally. So there is a mask or persona that has been played out. So being authentic is important. Spend time with yourself. Knowing who you are inside can expose you to your life purpose. It let repressed childhood passions emerge.

But, I am sure that too much of authentic parts can lead to introversion and that can lead to self-centredness. Hence, shifting or swapping oneself and becoming the other from time to time is necessary. The idea of one-centredness would strangle open and flexible behaviors and it would lead to rigidity or close-mindedness. Life’s experiences are imperfect. They happen at times when you do not like them to happen. You have your exams, but your elder brother comes to your house for vacation. You lost your job, you got your friends for an unexpected trip plan. When you become rigid to your conscious goals, you will miss out on life.

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2. Becoming false, fake smiling at people at times is necessary for building connections as well. Getting yourself out of the closed room is important for you and others. Interpersonal relationships, building connections, and your physiology are important. The brain and the body are connected, We should take note of that. It means shifting your focus from self to others. It means you have taken others’ interests into account. It means you have opened the door of your closed heart and try to see their unique world. But……

What exactly is the authentic self? Is it what we think we are or there is much in it?

Your Shadow Self

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I have seen from my life experiences that too much consciousness creates distress. Being relaxed and careless is needed sometimes. Here is when I learned the essence of unconsciousness. The unconscious is not a full-fledged wild and destructive drive; it is also the source of spirituality, creativity, and the capacity for relationships. But it is a space where the immature, base, emotional self lies. Our shadow self preserves our fears, fears about being insufficient. The shadow refers to that part of ourselves that we fear or despise. Hence, facing it may feel like a confrontation with our worst. We worry whether we will be able to like ourselves if we go poking around the unknown space. It lies within your comfort zone. with old lenses, it tries to approach new situations. It does not let you grow as well. At their core, those fears are the shadow self that literally tries to protect you. It implies that it does not let you grow. Shadow self-reserve impulses and desires. The immature side of the self seeks a positive rather than protection. it seeks fulfillment. But unexamined, it is a drive that lacks maturity and restraints. The confrontation and understanding of our shadow self allow us to come to terms with who we truly are. So, let’s face who we are in the shadows.



Rajib Roy

I am a writer who likes to write about personal experiences, Business, Psychology and Fashion.